THURSDAY MORNING COFFEE – Chaos

IMG_0618I write this missive in a state of utter chaos. Pre-trip jitters, maps and Mapquest directions, which shoes to bring, wrapped wedding gifts, wrapped birthday presents, toiletries, audio books from the library. Dog to the kennel, garbage out. Phone charged.

SHOES!!! Can’t forget shoes.

I hate wearing heels – I compromise on ancient, black kitten heels, figuring I’ll try to sneak into the black-tie event in my black leather Vibram Five Finger shoes later on. People are unlikely to notice under my long dress, anyway.

GARBAGE!!! And milk, and old salad – all that must go, lest I want to come home to a biology experiment. And put away your art supplies, your lady, and make sure to give the fish their feeder.

It never ends. I sit here, coffeed up and moderately frantic as the swoosh of the shower breaks the silence upstairs. I wish they would hurry faster, louder, so that I can track their movements and know that they haven’t fallen back asleep. There are bills, and I didn’t get to vacuum because I had a galley of “Broken Gait” to finish, but I did make those essential business phone calls and took care of my stack of emails.

And now I’m writing tomorrow’s blog, because that matters.

The blog is an anchor in my week, solid and comforting. A measure of enthalpy to stave off chaos.

My life isn’t a biology experiment as much as a simple exercise in physics. Entropy – or disorder – conquers all ordered things, unless we invest some energy into the system. This energy of order – enthalpy – translates into me doing things to my mess. Putting away. Cleaning. Mailing envelopes on time.

And I haven’t, because writing is so all-consuming at times.

Yet, “entropy” sounds so much better than “chaos.” It’s an SAT word, a big word. A word some people won’t understand, so I’ll use it. That way, I can hide behind my veneer of electronic perfection and pretend to have it all together. That way, fewer people will know that I sit here in a state of chaos.

Shhh…. Don’t tell on me.

I’ll clean up when we get back.

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